Disclaimer: All poems have been written and edited by me. Pictures were created and edited by me as well.
Nothing Matters Anymore
they say, all good things must end
i am trying my best not to take that road again, but at the end i’m just a lost soul wanting desperately some clousure
the anguish afflicts the pain in my bones
memories faded by life’s constant toll
as i ask again, where is my soul?
forever in your beating heart
nothing matters anymore
i don’t want to live
without a dream
but sadly, i’m just a broken dream
your memory is my only companionship in times like this
when my soul finally enters my body, i’m just begging you “please don’t leave”
it was stone-cold but something about it felt pretty much like home
the leafs in the trees stopped flowing
it was like someone was walking around without wanting to be found
i followed the sounds until i hit holy ground
it had nothing to do with religion, but instead it had everything to do with resolution
there was a crowded room screaming for revolution
as if the souls that were carried there would only think it was a fair share trying to find a solution for something that they no longer cared
what happened to the past generation?
didn’t they wanted the same things as we do?
i know some of my ancestors were messed up too, but didn’t my grandmother fought with her life for me to only see some new light?
she didn’t want me to fight but neither to stay quiet
i decided to keep my secrets on a safe so my confused self could live along with the safety of her privacy
my grandma taught me to be brave too
she just wanted me safe
not everyone wanted the same for me, so my life became insane
i was taken out of nowhere and no one even explained
i just felt like a prisoner busting their head against their restrains not knowing their soul would be drained
my grandmother showed me what bravery is
what courage requires
and how most of the people around me were liars
she even motivated me to continue a career that i didn’t even finish, much less started, but god wouldn’t she be proud if she knew i am a writer?
dancing around fire i left my soul burn
i decided to start off fresh, but with the only exception of not having her gone; i know she’s gone
if she was still here i know she wouldn’t have left
praying for etarnal strength so she could watch me grow
there’s nothing i miss more than the “honey, i’m home” song playing in the back of my head
because it reminds me of you
the only one who stayed
depression – tormentor of my dreams
the only exception to my nightmares
the missing piece of an overwhelming puzzle
the one that was undiscovered
all of the missing pieces had a personal theme
the ones that didn’t fit were the ones that couldn’t speak
their eyes have all the relapsing needs
of a fearful soul that it’s triggered by being clean
Another quick disclaimer: I am in no way a poet – or at least I don’t consider myself one – but I do love sharing my writing with other people that may be going through the same things or that may be feeling a similar way. I put all my thoughts, emotions, nostalgia, memories, fantasies and wishes onto my writing so it can reflect everything I am in them. Those are actual feelings that I’m sharing with you all in order to connect in a deeper and personal level with all of you.
I know life can be really draining sometimes but we can always hang up to what keeps us moving forward, what keeps us wanting to wake up in the morning without feeling that dreadful feeling, and that for me it’s poetry…and my dog who keeps me motivated, inspired and always brings out the abstract parts of myself that sometimes I don’t understand and she knows I need help, and she does, she helps me make those twisted depressing feelings into art.