“I’m fine” – What Does It Really Mean?
There’s a lot of misconceptions about what people with a mental illness say – when in reality we’re just hiding our feelings behind false claims – because it’s easier telling an everyday lie rather than opening up about what’s really bothering you.
“I’m fine” – that’s my response to absolutely everything. What people don’t know it’s that there’s so much more behind those words. There’s so much pain, frustration, trauma, shame, helplessness, i
Even t’s just too much to deal with all of it at once, and even worse when people don’t understand the process of having to fake your true identity due to mixed emotions and open wounds.
What Does It Mean?
That simple phrase can mean so many different things for all of us. Our answers are never going to be the same.
For me, “I’m fine” means “I’m going through a rough time and I’m too afraid of opening up because I don’t want to get judged, or feel like I’m not doing my best when it comes to feeling a sense of accomplishment in my life. I want you to validate me. I also need me not to become a piece of baggage of unsolicited inconveniences in your life”.
“I’m fine” can sometimes be a cry for help. Living in such a judgmental world, people sometimes miss the signs and the outcomes of those of us who seek a helping hand to guide us through some difficult times. Instead, we’re hit with the usual “get over it”, “it’s not that serious”, “some people have had it worse”, etc. Sure, we all go through some unexpected life-changing circumstances, but we have to be aware that not everyone deals with their circumstances in the same way.
Having trust issues is not as simple as people may think. It takes a big toll on someone’s life to not be able to be as open and trustworthy as the people that may surround us. It’s a daily battle of wanting to feel like you can trust someone enough to let them see the real you and not just bits and pieces of the broken parts that you’ve made sure to make them seem like they’re untouchable, to the point where they seem unbreakable.
When you find that one person that you truly feel like you can be yourself with, and you feel like you can start opening up to them, don’t let them go. It’s so hard nowadays to find people that actually care and not people that just tell us that they care but are nowhere to be found whenever you need a helping hand.
Finding someone with whom you can connect with goes far more than just another friendship. When you find someone with whom you can relate or share the same interests or mindsets then it becomes easier to open up. Keep in mind though, that doesn’t mean that you’re going to immediately trust them. Trusting takes time and so much patience. It’s important that the person on the other end also agrees on that and respects your decision of being reserved.
Believing Your Own Lies
It’s insane to think that after so much lying to everyone, you suddenly start believing those lies yourself. Deep inside you know that you’re not okay, but that “I’m fine” feeling starts sinking in until you feel like you’re just overreacting about not actually being okay.
Your skin feels like it’s about to break out, your eyes are swollen, you feel lonely and you just feel purely empty. This overwhelming feeling of getting used to the things you say tends to lead up to nervous breakdowns, depression, panic attacks, etc. Why don’t we know why it’s happening? Simple, because, we’re fine…aren’t we?
Seeking professional help can be really challenging as well; especially if you’re dealing with social anxiety. The idea of sitting in front of a therapist just to tell them how you feel may not be something that you’re comfortable doing – I know, I’ve been there. I thought I was just paying a random stranger to listen to my problems and the inner battles I was dealing with – I found this amazing website online, which I have seen so many testimonials from readers that come over to my blog telling me that they’re pleased. The site is called Online-Therapy and I actually wrote an article some time ago (which you can read right here!) about online therapy services and what they offer.
The things that I’m always looking forwards to during online therapy are:
- A legit site – No one wants to be involved in, yet, another scam
- Affordable – Therapy sessions nowadays can cost you hundreds of dollars when in this platform you can simply pay half, or even less, of that fee. Not to mention that if you sign up throughout the link I provided then you’ll be getting a 20% off when you complete your payment. If that’s not something to look forwards to then I don’t know what else it can be. There’s nothing better than saving money and if you’re spending it on something you need then it’s not even up for debate whether you should or shouldn’t try this service out. (If you do, do let me know how it has been working for you. I would love nothing more than to be connected to you guys)
- Anonymous – One of my all-time favorite features. As I’ve said before, having social anxiety is extremely draining. Having someone who’s there for you with only a text or a phone call away, truly is a life-changing experience. If you’re not struggling with social anxiety then you can even do a video call with your therapist. All therapies are 100% certified.
Don’t Struggle Alone
I know this is something that’s easy to say but not so easy to do. I know how you may be feeling, I’m providing you my personal email address so you can reach out to me and talk to me if you need to. I’m not a psychologist nor anyone who’s a mental health professional, but sometimes, we just need someone to hear us out and tell us that everything will eventually be okay
Here is my email address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Please feel free to reach out if you need to. I’m here, online-therapy is here, we’re all in this together.