Having to deal with a mental illness is never easy, but having to deal with it while also working, that’s a whole new level of decomposition.
You start asking yourself if it’s really worth it, or if you’re just draining yourself too much for something that will only worsen your mental stability.
Let’s keep in mind that having a job, any kind of job, can lead to an increase in stress that may not be healthy for you. It is completely normal to be stressed regardless of what you do. When it starts becoming a red flag is when that feeling starts becoming consistent and has a greater effect on your personal life, and not just regarding your job.
Since growing up we were always told that if we wanted to be successful then we had to either go to college and work towards a degree, or we needed to get a job that you may not even like. We have been pressured to comply with what our parents wanted, or what everyone else around us wanted, but what do we want?
You get to that age where everything starts adding up, and you feel desperate to do something with your life. You need to feel like you’re not wasting your time. You dropped out of college due to your mental health. Now, you have nowhere to go, no money to pay for food or necessities, so the only option is to get a job.
You don’t even have a CV (curriculum vitae), you’ve only worked one job and that was while you were in college, before you dropped out, now what? Your parents won’t help. You’re an adult now, so that means that you have to figure out everything on your own.
Social anxiety starts kicking in along with depression. They both start telling you how you’re going to be unable to work a part-time shift, and if you even go to that one interview, they won’t hire you because you’re unstable.
You go, almost regretting your decision, you make it through the interview, and the last thing you know…you got the job!
An overwhelming feeling of pride and anxiety starts taking over you, but you push that aside because now you got a job. M Your mental health is not really that important right now, or is it?
You’ve been in your job for almost two weeks now, isn’t it exciting? I’m almost sure that a majority of you guys won’t agree. The overwhelming feeling of having to do the same thing over and over again, every day, makes you want to get away from that place immediately. Everything starts becoming a routine, but heck, you’re already used to that because that’s all you’ve ever known your whole life.
You stop caring about how your mind is processing everything. You’re probably only here for the money, your sanity can wait for later.
The next thing you know, you’re working on a Friday afternoon, alone in a small room with no windows, your access of leaving that room is limited since you’re working with confidential documents…and the next thing you know, you’re on the floor trying to steady your breathing, feeling like your body is going to stop functioning, and you’re at the point where you feel like you might die right there. Sounds familiar?
Panic attacks don’t show compassion for anyone. You can be on the top of the world one second, and the next, you’re struggling to stay alive.
The next few days you miss work. You’re so scared you’re going to have to endure yet another panic attack episode. So, you decide for yourself that you might as well just drop it right there. You’re too scared to do a simple task, what made you think you could perform everything that you’re asked to do without having a complete breakdown?
Depression comes knocking on your door trying to convince you that you’re a failure, and if you couldn’t do that simple job then you’re going to fail every other possible thing you might try. You might as well just stay in bed all day because you don’t feel like nothing you do will ever be enough.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is fighting you with all the “what if’s”. You’re struggling and you feel like you’re trapped in a cage without a way out.
To which one do we listen? Depression who is telling us that life isn’t worth living, or anxiety who is fighting with us, trying to make us understand that if you don’t do a certain thing you will end up in a worse place than the one you’re right now. It’s all too overwhelming.
Is It Worth It?
Wow! That was a long ride, wasn’t it? We always tend to put everything before our well-being. I am not saying, in any way, that it is not important to have a job. Sadly, capitalism rules us, and we’re basically nothing without it. At least that’s what society wants you to think.
Having a job can be both a blessing and a curse. Of course, you need the money, but are you willing to give your mental stability up, over a paycheck? I am almost certain that a lot of you are going to say “yes”. Why is that? You see, mental illness doesn’t exclude us from aspiring certain things. We might want to go travel or go meet our best friend who lives on the other side of the country. Therefore, we need money. We need to work, but at the same time try managing ourselves into not worsening our life.
What Can You Do?
You know, mental illness is not just going to magically disappear, even if you quit your job. It doesn’t work like that.
Instead, maybe you can start changing some of your patterns.
Patterns like what?
Let’s start simple, say you take the train every day to go to work. How about if instead of taking the train you take a taxi or an uber. What if your work is near? You can ride a bike instead of walking all the way over there. You can start with simple things. Do you drink coffee in the morning? How about if you start drinking orange juice?
It’s the little steps that count the most because those are the ones that lead to greater results.
Disclaimer: I am in no way saying that those kind of things will cure your mental illness, nor that changing routines will do either.
Changing patterns and doing different things can improve how you feel. Routines are repetitive and it can sometimes make us feel like everything is worthless.
Another step you can take is seeking professional help. Yes, I know this is a scary thing and maybe you wouldn’t even have the time, nor the energy to make an appointment. So, what other options are out there?
I’ve been where you are, and it’s hard. Between trying to balance your mental health, and your responsibilities, it can lead to overwhelming yourself into not thinking it is possible to continue living your life the way you want to.
A few years ago I discovered that online therapy was real and that it actually worked. It’s not a miracle cure, nor it will make everything go away. But it can help you improve your life tremendously. It has done it for me. If you’re interested or want to learn more, I will leave you right here some of my recommended services/tools to start changing your life for the better.
You can check these links out and decide what works for you.
One step at a time you WILL get there.
If you have any concerns, questions or will like to offer experience regarding this topic, please do in the comment section down below.