by Stephanie | 4:28 am

Disclaimer: All of the poems on this website have been written by me. Photos have been edited by me as well.

Angel In Heaven

angel in heaven

late nights and early mornings

the birds sing our song while the blooming flowers decide if i will still have those thorns; once the sunset strikes i know there’s another battle that needs to be fought

outside there’s a heavy storm

the thunder keeps telling me that it will never be okay, and now all that’s left for me it’s to simply obey

i’m tired of this game and i don’t want to play

it’s not like i have a say nor i can’t have it my way

decisions were made before i could even pretend it was okay

not a day goes by where i don’t think about the empty shallows in your eyes

the way you told me to stay calm because you will always make it alright

you still do

i know i can’t talk to you but i just want you to know that i miss you

if only you knew

the pain that boils up in my bones whenever i remember that you’re gone; i wish i could wake up and realize that it isn’t true

i wish i could be there with you too

my beautiful angel in heaven; if only you knew

if you were still here my world wouldn’t be collapsing

my willing to live would still be standing

there’s nothing left for me to say, but if i had one last wish

i would beg god to let you stay

Meaning behind the poem: I have been mourning the loss of my grandmother ever since 2012. That has been the most painful experience I have ever had to go through. Not a day goes by where i don’t think about her. How different life would’ve been if she was still here. I can’t erase all of the pain and the trauma from my childhood, but knowing that she was there to ease the pain and remind me how strong of a girl I was becoming was one of the most comforting things for me every time I was struggling. I sometimes just wish she could still be here with me, or me up there with her.

Wonderstruck

wonderstruck poem

the nightmares have been slowly easing

instead, now i’m having dreams that are completely pleasing

a lot of speaking mixed with divine teasing

it never occurred to me that someone who doesn’t even think about me would be in my dreams preventing me from continuing with all of my normal routines

i wish you knew how many mornings i wake up wishing you would’ve stayed

who am i kidding?

your memory used to quickly fade

but now i’m back to daydreaming

i started streaming that one song that reminds me of you

even if you don’t know it i will always dedicate it to you

Meaning behind the poem: This is another personal one for me. Ever since I was 14 I fell in love with this person to whom I never expressed my feelings for them. I’m in my twenties now and suddenly it feels like things haven’t changed. For some unknown reason, said person appears in my dreams constantly – almost religiously devoted to continuing haunting the depths of my subconscious. This is not me whining about those events, but instead, it’s me acknowledging that deep in my mind, those feelings I once had I have never left them behind. Suddenly I’m 14 again.

Olivia

poetry

my depression wants me to give up

but my anxiety is too afraid to leave this pup

in a world full of chaos she’s the only thing that’s keeping me alive

maybe it’s just a matter of time

but i swear to god i won’t commit that crime

who would look at me when their eyes shine

when the world seems like it’s fine

who will ever remind me to never cross that line?

a bottle of wine right now would be nice

no one would take care of you the way i’ve done it

even if you’re still a pup i know that you would not be enjoying this stage if you were forced to live a life without endless love

i know that life is tough

but hold on sweet darling

mommy will catch you when you’re falling

i made the decision to stay

not because i want to

but because i need to

not for me

but for the little black eyes that look at me every morning asking for love and attention without priving me with my current unstable situation

she still loves me anyway

no matter how hard life is; i’m the only person she can count on to stay

Meaning behind this poem: I think this one is self-explanatory? But for those of you who would like a deeper inside of what inspired this poem; here it is. I adopted a puppy a couple of months ago when she was three months old – she’s almost seven months right now as to July 2020 – I took that decision of saving a life from whatever her unknown future might’ve  hold. I adopted her from a shelter and realizing how terrified she was of people – of someone showing her that she could be loved, she could have a family, a stable place where she could associate with her home – I made myself a promise that I was going to give my everything to make this little girl as happy as a puppy can be. I treat her as if she was my own child – you can ask my friends, for them she’s my daughter -. She has saved me so many times and even though she sometimes gives me small headaches, I would still choose her over everything and everyone.

A little back story that happened a couple of weeks ago: I live in a tropical island that’s located among some of the biggest tectonic plates. Therefore, we have constant earthquakes, but this year has been the worst. A couple of weeks ago we had a 5.2 one and instead of grabbing my emergency backpack, cellphone, and my medications, I grabbed her. She was the only important thing that I needed. I needed her safe. Luckily, no damages where done.

She has helped me during some depression and panic attack episodes and for that, I could not be more grateful.

Quick note: Normally I write my poetry from the unknown, sometimes from personal experiences, while other times I’m just an outsider trying to sneak in. Though, I do have to say that most of my poetry comes from a really personal field, I still try to disguise it a little so I can feel comfortable being vulnerable, but not too exposed to feel invaded. I hope you liked these short poems and their backstories!

 

Do you write poetry? If you’d like to share it I’d be more than happy to give you this space to do so in the comment section down below.
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Comments

Puneet

I love this site. Such a unique website. The poetry that you have provided is really heartfelt. I am really sorry to hear about your grandmother, she sounded like an awe inspiring person. I am sure she will be proud of what you are doing. Your puppy sounds like she was sent to comfort you. Your grandma’s soul could be in her. Take comfort and I wish you well. Keep up the great work.

Jul 15.2020 | 05:40 am

    Stephanie

    Such sweet and kind words! Thank you for taking the time to go over my poems and actually analyze them while getting to your own conclusions. You are amazing and again, thank you. 

    Jul 16.2020 | 03:36 am

Jerry

Your article prompted me to search the internet about poetry and now I finally understand why it is so difficult for me to understand. In communicating we talk rather straight in order to make ourselves clear. Poetry, instead, is not literal, but more of a compression of information in very few words.  Beautiful words that is. Why you want to do that still beats me, but now I at least understand the purpose of poetry. I will now look at poetry in a very different way and maybe will appreciate them better. You can understand I was very thankful for your explanations of your poems.

Jul 15.2020 | 06:19 am

    Stephanie

    So happy to hear that you took some time to do research and expand your knowledge on this specific topic. Poetry is a rare language that not everybody understands. Sometimes it’s under-viewed as being too emotionally vulnerable, too open, but that’s the whole point of it. Expressing yourself throughout your vulnerability’s eyes. 

    Jul 16.2020 | 06:46 pm

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