by Stephanie | 10:52 pm

A lot of people may be experiencing this right now, and they might not even know it. You see, once you’re used to something, even if it’s bad, you feel like that’s how things are supposed to be.

They’re not.

Toxicity comes in many ways and in unexpected situations. You may not even see it as toxic because, well, you love that person.

Love doesn’t involve getting hurt in the process of trusting.

What Can A Toxic Environment Be Defined As?

I’m not going to get into sophisticated definitions. I’m just going to tell you what toxic behavior is.

• You don’t feel safe

• Everything you do is bad for the other person

• They’re controlling your decisions, what you wear and who do you talk to

• They get mad at you for expressing how you feel because your feelings are not valid for them

• You can’t do anything without asking for permission, or getting approval

The list goes on. Toxic behaviors do not only include a partner. It can also be regarding friends, family, coworkers and even strangers.

We never really know what we’re getting ourselves into, and if you’ve been around this type of behavior, you will probably see it as something normal.

We may not even consider it, but sometimes, it’s not really a person as a whole, who is toxic but instead, their actions and behaviors are what makes them or the situation toxic.
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Can It Escalate?

Sometimes there’s not really a way to escape a certain situation. That may be because you’re a minor, you’re scared or because you feel like if you leave, then you will end up missing the toxic person.

Toxic behavior doesn’t necessarily lead to physical abuse, but keep in mind that it can.

You should make a mental note of all the things that are worrying you right now about the situation. Create some boundaries between what you’re feeling, and the actions that you’re receiving. What does this mean? Have a clear vision of what you know it’s good for you, and what you deserve. Never settle for less. Please also keep in mind that no one can take your rights away. Those are yours.

That’s Not How Things Are Supposed To Be

No one deserves to be treated in an inhumane and abusive way, even if the other person is just “joking”. Once you start feeling like your feelings and opinions don’t matter, maybe you should consider cutting out that person from your life.

I am almost certain that we have or have had a relationship with some very toxic people in our lives.

We may even have some sort of sympathy for them because we think that we understand why they have such toxic behaviors. Having empathy for someone does not mean that you can’t speak out for their wrong doings. In fact, if we let these people continue with their toxic behaviors they may feel like they’re being validated and that what they’re doing it’s okay.

It’s not.

toxic environment

Do We Attract These People?

I have been dealing with toxic people for so long. This year I found myself, yet again, in a toxic environment regarding a friend. She seemed nice and lovely at first, but then things started to change.

If you’ve been in this situation, I’m sure you’d know that people like this love being the center of attention. Everything is about them. They don’t even ask how your day is going. You can give them all of your time, you try to help them with a certain situation in their lives and they will just keep victimizing themselves wanting to make you feel more sorry for them.

What happens when you’re the one in need for someone to hear you?

Try bringing up something from your personal life to them, and see how quickly they change the topic or tell you that they’re not up to talk about that at the moment.

You will bring it back again some other day and they will, yet again, start making it all about them and how you’re the one who doesn’t understand what they’re going through.

Seems familiar?

That is indeed toxic behavior

Now, do we attract these type of people? I can’t certainly say. But, I can say that maybe we’re so used to these type of actions that we end up looking for people with the same characteristics.

Bottom Line

Take a look around you and you will notice that most people have toxic traits. We do as well. The key here is to know when you’re having a toxic attitude towards someone and if so, you should work towards fixing it. Work on yourself to become a better and more trustworthy person.

Of course, some people have way more toxic traits than others and if that’s the case you’re in, please step back from that person. We’re already dealing with so much, and yet we carry other people’s baggage, when they can’t even show you that they care about you. It’s not worth damaging your mental health for people who only care about themselves.

I know it can be hard dealing with these types of things and sometimes we don’t have anyone to turn to. Therapy is too expensive, you don’t have insurance, you have social anxiety or whatever other reason. Please know that there are other options out there that you can try. There are people who are willing to help you without it having to be so expensive. If you’re interested, I will leave you this article right here so you can make your own concrete decision and decide what works for you.

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Comments

JJ

I know what it is like, living in a toxic environment. You are right. Sometimes you are so steeped in it that you begin to question yourself about whether or not you are unreasonable or you make excuses for the other person, so that life remains ‘ peaceful’. There can be no peace when there is abuse. You need to release them to learn their own lessons. Thank you for a truly honest discussion.

Oct 31.2019 | 12:01 am

    Stephanie

    Thank you for taking the time to read. 

    Oct 31.2019 | 01:32 am

riverdogg

Good article on a tough subject for a lot of people. I’ve found that I can remove myself from a toxic situation if I put a little distance between me and the source of toxicity and try to put out positive energy if I can. Another part of it is to try to deescalate the situation, stop fighting if it got that far. Try to focus on the situation and try to see it from the toxic persons’ point of view and try to emphasize with them. It very well could calm them or the situation down enough to leave in a peaceful manner. Anyways, that’s what I do when I find myself stuck in a toxic situation that I want to get out of.

Oct 31.2019 | 12:09 am

    Stephanie

    Empathizing is omayc but again, most of these people are just looking for validation so that their actions seem acceptable 

    Oct 31.2019 | 01:35 am

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