Cutting People Off
Having such a forgiving heart can sometimes make your life really hard to manage, especially when you’re cutting people off.
I know it’s not as easy as it sounds and it can sometimes be almost impossible because that person can be a close friend, your partner, or even a family member. The truth is that only you know your limits. You have every right to establish your own boundaries.
Why Should You Cut People Off?
The possible answers for this question are endless. There are so many things that people do that make you feel bad, or uncomfortable. Sometimes they know it and other times they think they’re just messing around and you’re alright with it. It definitely starts getting harder when you’re trying to talk it out with that person and they either don’t care, think you’re exaggerating, or that you’re joking.
These can be some of the reasons for cutting people off:
- They don’t respect your boundaries – Having boundaries nowadays is one of the most important things that we should consider. We don’t like people taking advantage of us, so setting boundaries on your own terms is extremely crucial. Whoever doesn’t respect that, nor your space is not worthy of the time you’re giving them. Boundaries should never be something that people follow only if they want to. It should be mandatory to respect everyone else’s space.
- Toxic family members or friends – Just because you’re blood-related doesn’t give anyone the right to manipulate, disrespect, make choices for you, compare you to other people, talk negatively about your person, or invade your privacy. As you’re growing up, you have always been told that you have to respect your family members because they’re your “family”. I say to hell with that. Anyone who makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable should not be part of your life. The same goes for friendships. Sometimes we hold on to a person because we’ve grown too close with them. At first, we don’t care if they make fun of us, even if it is just in a “funny” way, because they’re you’re friends and they’re not intentionally hurting you. Once those words start climbing their path towards your brain, that is a whole different story. No one is allowed to treat you badly and later act as if nothing happened.
- Politics – Yes, you are allowed to cut anyone off if their political views are significantly different from yours. I know it can be a little controversial to cut people off just for having a different opinion towards politics, but one thing I’ve learned throughout the years, is that a person’s political views are a reflection of who they are and their morals as human beings. Someone who’s part of a political party that is against human rights has to get out of my life immediately. I will forever stand by human rights and freedom for us all. Living in such a capitalist world is one of the most draining and devastating things that the people with money and power has forced us to do.
- Feminism – One of my absolute favorite topics. A lot of people, including people that we know, think that feminism equals “hating men” but no, that is in no way the case. Feminism is about equality for everyone. Feminism is about respecting each other, not only telling your daughters how to stay safe, but also tell your sons the meaning of what consent is. Feminist craves equality. Women crave freedom, and not being objectify for their bodies, but instead being appreciated for our brains and our brilliant ideas. Anyone who doesn’t agree to all of this will be declined of a free entry to my personal life.
- Religion – One of the topics, besides politics, that people mostly debate about. Growing up, I grew up in a Protestant church, went to a Christian school and surrounded myself with overly-religious family members. As I grew up, I started to notice the double standards religion has towards other human beings. How religious people would have the uncle who raped their daughter, sit at the Christmas dinner table, but will close the doors to the gay cousin. Those are things that I, in no way, can tolerate, much less allow people with this line of thoughts enter my safe space. I respect religion, don’t get me wrong. I believe in God. I just can’t stand the beliefs some people have towards other humans. As you can tell, I’m all about human rights.
There are so many things from which you can decide on what terms you want to be cutting people off from. It’s not something you do overnight. It takes time and getting in touch with your inner self, and your beliefs to actually decide that you don’t want a certain negative aspect run throughout your life.
You Don’t Owe Anyone Anything
Having to deal with anxiety, rejection and depression, only taught me that you’re allowed to do and feel however you want to. There are no social standards that you need to follow. Just simply be you, as long as you’re respecting someone else’s opinion who doesn’t go against human rights, you’re good to go.
Cutting people off becomes such a struggle in our minds because we don’t want to lose certain people just because we don’t tolerate, nor agree with certain things that they do or support. You’re not being selfish. You’re being reasonable and standing up for what you believe is right. Values, morals and equality alongside with human rights, are the only things that should be carried on through each generation. I’m tired of people making excuses for their actions or beliefs. If you support something that’s against human rights, you’re not a good person, not even a person at all.
Learning to accept that we all have our different opinions and our different concepts of what life should be, is a little hard, but as long as you know what’s right and what’s not, you’re ready to live the life that you want without having any toxic people in your surroundings.