Abusive parents only want one thing, and that is to make themselves feel powerful while forgetting their child’s actual needs. It’s not too hard to understand that having a little person who completely depends on you, needs all of your attention and support. Most neglected children have tons of stories about abusive parents. Let’s dive deeper.
What’s An Abusive parent?
Abusive parents are adults who emotionally manipulate their children. To which, it can end up leading to physical abuse as well. They will try to make the child feel like their basic needs, that may include:
• Medication/Help doing something
Among other things, are something that they have to beg for. Or worse, the child may not even have a response from said adult. If you look throughout the internet you may stumble into some stories about abusive parents, in which from the first glance at this topic, you can tell how much this adult personified as a parent, has neglected their child’s needs
As some of you may have a story, I also have a story about an abusive parent. I am about to get personal with you because I really think that this is one that most of us are scared to bring up to anyone in our lives. Maybe we’re too scared, maybe society has made it a taboo to talk about something so traumatic and raw. Your story should never feel light a weight that you have to carry for the rest of your life on your own. What happened to you matters. You are seen.
I’m a twenty something year-old woman who has experienced abuse. Since a very young age, I was used to hearing my mother tell me how I couldn’t do a certain thing because I wasn’t intelligent enough for said task. I used to get humiliated when I went out with her, she would tell people how disrespectful, immature, dumb and selfish I was. I was only about five or seven back then.
I was so used to that kind of treatment that I didn’t really see it as abuse and only saw it as a normal thing because that’s what she made me believe. I had to suffer in silence because if I ever said anything she would threaten me about getting physical, to which, she did on a normal basis. Growing up I couldn’t bring any friends over, much less go out with any of them to do fun things like going to the park, the movies, etc. She isolated me so much, that to this day, I still tend to isolate myself. I get too physically and emotionally drained constantly. During my childhood years, It got to a point in which she actually stopped cooking and feeding me, so I had to stay up overnight until she fell asleep so I could get out of my room and sneak into the kitchen to find whatever I could. I went through raw food, pancake mix, solid uncooked pasta, among other things to actually get myself throughout the day. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m still alive at this point after all that. I’m glad I’m still here though.
My Teenage Years
My teenage years were such a rough stage in my life. I started falling for this boy and I once told my friends, to which, somehow my mother ended up knowing about it and threatened me, yet again; but not only that! I was also told how my whole life I was going to be spending my time looking for men and just being used by them, to which to this day, I can’t shake those words out of my head.
I had a serious emotional breakdown around when I was fourteen which led to some serious depressive episodes that almost cost me my life. I can’t say I’m okay, in fact, I’m emotionally unstable but I am glad that I got out of that abusive environment.
I have so much stories about abusive parents, but something that also caused me so much pain was the lack of medical attention I got. Due to the lack of assistance, I ended up having some serious health issues that to this day I’m still dealing with. For example, I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was six and because it wasn’t taken care of it got worse over time. To this day, I have diabetic retinopathy, which is when your retina, that’s in the eye and it’s what helps you see everything, it started to fall off. I’m partially blind if I may say. Other things such as CKD on stage two, psoriasis, heart condition and psoriasis arthritis, are also part of my life and part of my daily routine ever since I got out of that abusive household. Not to mention the depression, anxiety and PTSD that I have to live with and carry for the rest of my life.
I sometimes wonder how everything would’ve been like if I was actually treated. How much of my life am I missing due to this? I don’t have a concrete answer, but I’m sure that it’s a lot. I’ve missed so many opportunities, jobs, I’ve lost friendships, family and so much more.
It’s an every day battle but I’m not giving up. There’s so much to life that I still want to experience, that I still want to try. It takes a lot of consistency, patience and dedication to actually keep working towards a better future for myself. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either.
You’re Not Alone
I know It still hurts on a daily basis but look at you! You’re still going forward. You’re still achieving your goals even if they are the smallest things, or even if it takes you so much time to actually try anything. You have survived so much and I am so proud of you for that. Just know that along with me there, are hundreds of adults who still struggle with their past traumas, but they don’t give up because they know, deep inside, that what’s coming would be worth it. No child or anyone by this matter should feel scared of living in their own home. It’s not about if you deserve it or not. Human rights are everyone’s rights and they should not be taken away from us.
You’re not alone. Please reach out to someone if you feel like you’re not safe in your household.
If you have stories about abusive parents and you want to share it with someone please reach out to me via firstname.lastname@example.org
Having someone witness your story can go such a long way in the process of healing and recovery. Please take care of yourselves.
If you’re looking for professional help from a certified therapist you can try Online-Therapy to get started.