by Stephanie Ramos | 1:40 am

Childhood TraumaAbusive parents only want one thing, and that is to make themselves feel powerful while forgetting their child’s actual needs. It’s not too hard to understand that having a little person who completely depends on you, needs all of your attention and support.

What’s An Abusive parent?

Abusive parents are adults who emotionally manipulate their children. To which, it can end up leading to physical abuse as well. They will try to make you feel like if your basic needs, that may include:

• Food

• Education

• Medication/Help doing something

 

Among other things, are something that you have to beg for. Or worse than that, you won’t even have a response from said adult. If you look throughout the internet you may stumble into some abusive parents stories in which from the very first sentence you can tell how much this adult personified as a parent, has neglected this child’s needs

My Story

I am about to get personal with you because I really think that this is a topic that most of us are scared to bring up to anyone in our lives.

I’m a 23-year-old woman who has actually experienced abuse. Since a very young age, I was used to hearing my mother tell me how I couldn’t do a certain thing because I wasn’t intelligent enough for said task. I used to get humiliated when I went out with her, she would tell people how disrespectful, immature and selfish I was. I was only five back then.

I was so used to that kind of treatment that I didn’t really see it as abuse and only saw it as a normal thing because that’s what she made me believe it was. I had to suffer in silence because if I ever said anything she would threaten me about getting physical, to which, she did on a normal basis. Growing up I couldn’t bring any friends over, much less go out with any of them to do fun things like going to the park, the movies, etc. She isolated me so much, that till this day I still tend to isolate myself because I get too physically and emotionally drained constantly. It got to a point in which she actually stopped cooking and feeding me, so I had to stay up overnight until she fell asleep so I could get out of my room and sneak into the kitchen to find whatever I could. I went through raw food, pancake mix, solid uncooked pasta, among other things to actually get myself throughout the day. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m still alive at this point after all that but even though I have my emotional issues, I’m glad I’m still here.

My Teenage Years

My teenage years were such a rough stage in my life. I started falling for this boy and I once told my friends, to which, somehow my mother ended up knowing about and threatened me, yet again but not only that. I was also told how my whole life I was going to be spending my time looking for men and just being used by them, to which to this day, I can’t shake those words out.

I had a serious emotional breakdown around when I was fourteen which led to some serious depressive episodes that almost cost me my life. I can’t say I’m okay, if fact, I’m emotionally unstable but I am glad that I got out of that abusive environment.

Health Issues

Due to the lack of assistance, I ended up having some serious health issues that to this day I’m still dealing with. For example, I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was six and because it wasn’t taken care of it got worse over time. To this day, I have diabetic retinopathy, which is when your retina, that’s in the eye and it’s what helps you see everything, it started to fall off. I’m partially blind if I may say. Other things such as CKD on stage two, psoriasis, heart condition and psoriasis arthritis, are also part of my life and part of my everyday ever since I got out of that house. Not to mention the depression, anxiety and PTSD that I have to live with and carry for the rest of my life.

I sometimes wonder how everything would’ve been like if I was actually treated. How much of my life am I missing due to this? I don’t have a concrete answer but it’s a lot. I’ve missed so many opportunities, jobs, I’ve lost friendships, family and so much more.

It’s an every day battle but I’m not giving up. There’s so much to life that I still want to experience, that I still want to try. It takes a lot of consistency, patience and dedication to actually keep working towards a better future for you. It’s not easy but it’s not impossible either.

You’re Not Alone

It still hurts on a daily basis but look at you! You’re still going forward. You’re still achieving your goals even if they are the smallest things or even if it takes you so much time to actually try anything. You have survived so much and I am so proud of you for that. Just know that along with me there are hundreds of adults who still struggle with their past traumas but they don’t give up because they know, deep inside, that what’s coming would be worth it. No child or anyone by this matter should feel scared of living in their own home. It’s not about if you deserve it or not. Human rights are everyone’s rights and they should not be taken away from us.

You’re not alone. Please reach out to someone if you feel like you’re not safe in your household.

If you have an abusive parent story and you want to share it with someone please reach out to me via stephanie@mentalhealthpath.com

Having someone witness your story can go such a long way in the process of healing and recovery. Please take care of yourselves.

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