The Effects Of Childhood Trauma In Adults

The Effects Of Childhood trauma I know this can be a hard topic for some of us, but for others it’s not really that type of controversial topic. Childhood trauma is not something we’re used to acknowledge and take a part in the prevention of said issue. Just know that either way, whatever it is that you’re dealing with, you’re not alone. There’s a lot of people like you and me who sometimes need to hear about these topics to actually feel like what we went through is valid. You don’t need validation from anyone, but bearing witness into someone else’s story can go a long way.

Dealing With Childhood Trauma

Growing up in an abusive household can leave deep scars on our souls and it is so hard to deal with this issue. This is due to our lack of understanding how bad you were being treated since it was so normal to you to be neglected, it felt like that was how you were supposed to be treated. Deep inside, you knew it was wrong but your mistreatment made it seem like it was a normal thing, so you were afraid to say something or let anyone know what you were going through. The hardest part of childhood trauma is that at this point in your life, you’re still struggling to actually admit and say something about the issues you struggled with because you’re scared of what people are going to say. I know how it is, I’ve been there. If we actually took some time to look around us we might be surprised at how many people have been going through this type of trauma as well.

It’s really hard to talk about the effects of childhood trauma in adults because we actually don’t know if what we’re going through is a sign of the trauma, or if we’re just too broken to be completely repaired.

Can You Be Too Broken Beyond Repair?

We’re so used to hearing about how other people may have had it worse and how we’re possibly, maybe, overreacting or making things up. We think we’re making mistakes with anything that we do, even if it’s the smallest things like making a phone call or opening our front door when someone is knocking, you’re scared of what people may say, or how other may perceive your actions and nervousness. But, let me tell you, that is completely normal to feel that way. I’m not saying that you should feel like that, but feeling it is not a wrongdoing from your part. We all make mistakes and we will continue to do so on a daily basis. We don’t need to be perfectionists or know-it-all’s to be productive in whatever it is we want to achieve. You see, achieving things after you’ve been told you’re not going to get anywhere in life makes you doubt yourself so much, you don’t know what it is you’re doing wrong – often times this is just lingering around in your head and you’re not doing anything wrong at all – or what you should be doing according to these social constructed ideas.

No, we are not too broken beyond repair. Whoever told you otherwise was afraid to actually acknowledge the potential you have to be able to achieve your goals and overall shine in your every day activities.

What Would People Say If…

Growing up we were told that if we ever said anything than either something bad would happen to you our someone we loved, or if you decided to speak up then wouldn’t be believed. Thinking about that now while I’m in my twenties it’s still a hard thing for me to process. I still feel like my feelings or everything I do needs to be validated by other people, people I don’t even know, if I don’t get that validation I might feel like  I haven’t completed some sort of task that I, by no means, should even have to think doubt my decisions for the sake of what others may say. You might get that feeling in your chest that you’re not really important to someone if they don’t give you the validation you’re looking for and dealing with these things on a daily basis can be so emotionally and physically draining. If you’re like me, I know you’ll be asking people you don’t even know how to do a certain thing or how to act in a way that can be socially accepted without even thinking about what it is that you really want to do.

Childhood trauma

The Depths of My Mind

Our minds are a whole different world that nobody knows about and nobody has ever seen before. We have been keeping quiet for so long that you’re actually scared to let your thoughts come out of your brain. You’re scaref of being repetitive, you’re scared of not being good enough, you’re scared of giving out your own opinion because you think it won’t get validated, even though it’s your opinion. In your mind everything is controversial. Everything is a constant “what if”, to the point that you have forgotten to live your life because you’re too busy, in your head, living the life you wish you had back then; the life you’re almost sure you deserved but never got. Your mind can be such a useful tool to your every day life, but it can also be your worst enemy at night, and even worse, during the day.

You’re scared to ask for help from the people you actually know in your every day life because they don’t really know what you’ve been through, or if they know they don’t know everything and it’s scary opening up that door from the depths of our brain and letting everything out because again, you’re scared of what they might say, what they might think. Will they be thinking I’m making this up? Or if maybe, I’m faking it?

Your Journey Is Barely Starting

I know it’s easier said than done. As I said before, I’ve been there, but you know what, your journey it’s not over. You have a lot of potential in you. You’re capable of doing anything and everything that you set your mind to. Even if you’re scared, don’t hesitate to work towards a better version of yourself. I know it’s a scary thought to think “but what if I actually get better?” Because you’re so used to being hurt, that’s all you’ve known, but do know that it doesn’t have to be something to continue living with. You deserve to do amazing things and feel proud about that.

Was it really that bad? Yes, it was. You don’t need anyone to tell you this, but just a reminder that your feelings are only yours and they are completely valid even if it doesn’t feel like it now, but believe me, they are. I wish someone would’ve told me this when I was younger, it would’ve had helped me so much during my adulthood. It’s sometimes surreal to actually think about the effects of childhood trauma in adults because growing up you never acknowledged that what you were dealing with was actually the aftermath’s of trauma.

Take a second to look at everything you’ve done and have accomplished thus far. You should feel proud of what you’re doing even if that means just getting out of bed in the morning. You’ve come along way, your journey is not over.

Therapy may seem like it’s not for everyone, but we all do need to reach out to a therapist once in a while. It’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t discredit how you feel. On the other hand, therapy can be the place to begin your healing process. If you’re too scared to set a date for your first appointment, or if your anxiety is too much to handle and you feel like you’re not able to talk to a therapist on a face-to-face matter, just know that there are other alternatives like Online-Therapy. This service is made for anyone who needs assistance and it’s as easy as signing up, finding the right therapist for you, and starting your healing journey. Best part? You don’t even have to leave your house. Join now!

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