I Wish You Were A Better Man

I Wish You Were A Better Man

I wish that you were better. I wish that you loved me the way a father should love his daughter. But instead, you treat me like an object, like something you’d only come close to if it benefits you. You never listen to me or take my feelings into consideration when making decisions for the family. It’s always about what’s best for you, not what’s best for us as a whole unit. I wish you were a better man.

I Wish You Were A Better Man (Daughter To Father)

You’ve never been a father, so you don’t know what it’s like to be one. You don’t understand the emotional abuse that I’ve been through, and you couldn’t possibly imagine how much pain you’ve caused me. I’m not sure if my father has ever admit it, but he was abusive in his own way—he just didn’t use his fists or slurs as weapons of choice. Instead, he used words and lies to make me feel worthless and unlovable as a woman—especially now that I have grown into my own person. Now that I have my own feelings and I’m free from the shameful attachment that chained me to my mother. He knew her past. He knew her devilish ways. He never protected me, nor did anything to prevent the trauma.

I wish you were a better man

Broken Relationship With A Father

You are a father to a daughter who has a very broken relationship with herself and everyone around her. The two of us didn’t talk when I was a child, but when I got older, he starts acting like my friend and tries to make up for lost time by spending time with me – time that he only spends talking about himself. But this doesn’t last long because he often forgets about your personal achievements or any other important occasions in life and only remembers when it’s too late to celebrate them properly.

Our Journey Does Not End Here. We Look Forward To Welcoming You To The Next Step Of Your Journey.

You know that he loves you more than anything else in the world but he seems unable to express it properly without making mistakes all the time (or even worse, saying something hurtful). I feel lonely most times because even though there are many people around me, I still feel alone because my father doesn’t seem interested in getting to know me. The things that make me happy. The things that scare me. The things that annoying me, nor the things that I’m afraid of. He knows nothing at all. He’s no better than my mother.

Thank You For Making Me Feel Like An ATM

I’m not even going to bother trying to explain how much my dad makes me feel like an ATM. I just want to say that he’s always asking for money ever since I first came here. He doesn’t help me when I need it, but he always wants money without earning it, nor working for it.

I think about all the times that he would ask for money and I would go into my savings account and get out $10 or $50 – anything that he needed. It wasn’t until recently that I started thinking about what else my dad could do with the money if he wanted it so badly. My dad has never cared about me, or my disability, or my needs at all; only his own needs and wants matter to him.

I wish you were a better man
I don’t know what happened to him in life, but it made him become such a selfish person who doesn’t care if anyone else is suffering because he’s always the one whose “had it worse”.

Don’t Ask Me How I’m Doing

You don’t ask me how I’m doing.

You never do, and when you do it’s always a surprise to hear that I am doing well, thanks for asking!

You don’t care what happens to me as long as it doesn’t affect your life in any way. Every time I bring up my health conditions it’s always a change of topic from your part. How can you expect me to be open and share my life? Your emptiness just makes me uncomfortable.

You’ve Never Been A Father

I wish you were a better man.

Our Journey Does Not End Here. We Look Forward To Welcoming You To The Next Step Of Your Journey.

You have never been a father, and no amount of “I’m changing” behavior will be tolerated by me. I am so tired of hearing about how much better you want to be, but it’s never good enough for me. No matter what you do or say, it won’t make up for the fact that there was nothing good about your life as a father before now.

The Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a form of abuse in which the abuser causes the victim to suffer from depression, anxiety, or even PTSD. It’s not just physical violence that causes damage—emotional and verbal abuse can also have an impact on your mental health.

I wish you were a better man

Emotional abuse from father to daughter:

I wish you were a better man.

I wish you were more compassionate and empathetic towards women, and less sexist and misogynistic at times. I wish you would stop belittling me for the way I look or dress, or the fact that I have a different opinion than you do on certain subjects. I wish you would stop treating me like a child or a second-class citizen because of my age or my gender.

I wish you would be more understanding of other people’s feelings and perspectives, rather than just assuming everyone thinks as you do.

Drugs And Alcohol Were Priorities To You Over Me

There were times when you would tell me that drugs and alcohol were your priorities to the extent that you couldn’t even be bothered to spend time with me. You would say things like, “I don’t feel good,” or “I have a lot of things to do” and out of nowhere you’d disappear. You would rather go to get your supply than take me to a doctors’ appointment – knowing damn well that my disability makes me unable to drive.

This is when I realized that there was something wrong with my father – he wasn’t really interested in spending time with his daughter. He didn’t understand how much pain it caused me when he disappeared for hours at a time without calling or saying goodbye first; how much hurt it caused me when I came home from a doctors’ appointment and found no one there waiting for me; how frustrated I became whenever the lies started adding up, but you wouldn’t own your mistakes because in your head you’ve always been right.

I Wish You Were A Better Man…

I wish you were a better man.

I wish you were a better father.

I wish you were a better man for me, but most of all, I wish that you would be more like yourself instead of just pretending to be someone else.

You have made mistakes in life and that’s okay; maybe there are things we can learn from them and change our behavior accordingly, but at some point we need to stop pretending that everything is okay when it clearly isn’t so…

This was more of an open letter addressed to the first man who disappointed me.

4 thoughts on “I Wish You Were A Better Man”

  1. As I grow up I see this more often with parents in today’s society.

    I always wonder how can this happen. A father not caring, being not available to kids’ dire needs, being emotionally abusive, taking money from kids’ savings to spending.

    I am just praying to God for this situation to improve for you.

    You know yourself very well and stand up for yourself as necessary. Build a few friends who understand you.

    Stay positive always. Life is not a smooth ride. It can be hard and things can happen. 

    You are now your own strength and find your compassion and empathy and give good hugs to yourself. Be your own light to guide you. Build yourself stronger than ever. I wish you a good life.

    1. Thank you for your kind words and good energy. It’s truly a rough path to walk in, even more so when your mother is no better than your father. People shouldn’t bring up kids into this world if they’re not fit to be parents, that’s a whole new level of trauma for that child. 

  2. It’s so hard to grow up without the loving support that helps children to grow into the best versions of themselves. Some paths and situations are incredibly hard to understand, which can make it hard to move on. I hope that writing and sharing these thoughts can help to ease the heartache and help to move towards that space where everything actually is okay.

    Big hugs.

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