8 Things People With BPD Wish You Knew

8 Things People With BPD Wish You Knew

I wish people knew that people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) are not trying to manipulate or hurt anyone. They are dealing with intense emotions and black-and-white thinking, which makes their behavior seem irrational, but it’s not done out of malice. People with BPD can often be self-destructive, especially when they are triggered by abandonment fears; however, this doesn’t mean they’re weak or defective — it just means they need professional help in finding ways to cope better and maintain healthy relationships.

1. Borderline Personality Disorder Does Not Have Just A Few Symptoms: It Affects Many Things In Your Life.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that can affect how you feel, think and act. When you have BPD, your moods can change quickly and unpredictably. You may feel on top of the world one moment and then in a dark place the next. You might feel angry or sad at work, but then get home and feel like nothing matters.

8 Things People With BPD Wish You Knew
The symptoms of BPD can vary greatly from person to person. Some people with BPD have symptoms like intense anger and temper outbursts, while others are impulsive and chaotic. Some people with BPD also struggle with substance abuse problems or self-harm behaviors.

Our Journey Does Not End Here. We Look Forward To Welcoming You To The Next Step Of Your Journey.

People with BPD may have trouble forming healthy relationships as well as maintaining them over time. They may be prone to erratic behavior and mood swings that make it difficult for others to predict what will happen next. In some cases it can seem like these individuals have no feelings or emotions at all.

2. BPD Is Not The Same Thing As Bipolar Disorder Or PTSD, Neither Of Which Are Related To BPD Except By Name.

The three are not related, except by name. BPD is a personality disorder, while bipolar disorder and PTSD are mood disorders.

You may have heard the terms “borderline personality disorder” and “bipolar disorder” used interchangeably in the past. While you may be used to hearing these two terms together, this isn’t technically accurate: BPD is not the same thing as bipolar disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The three are different from one another—and they can be very different experiences for people who live them. Regardless of this, an individual may be experiencing all three of these illnesses.

In fact, it can be helpful to think of these three disorders as being more like apples, oranges and grapes than they are like each other. Yes, they all grow on trees in the fruit family but that doesn’t mean they taste or look exactly alike!

3. BPD Doesn’t Only Affect Women.

BPD can affect men and women. Studies suggest that the disorder affects about 60 percent of people who have it, regardless of gender. However, because women are often diagnosed with BPD before men, there’s less awareness when it comes to issues faced by individuals with the disorder who are male-identified.
8 Things People With BPD Wish You Knew
Those who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder—a mental health condition characterized by periods of depression and periods of mania—often find themselves misdiagnosed with BPD instead. This is true even though both conditions share many similarities: for example, both involve intense mood swings and impulsive behavior that has a negative impact on relationships at home and at work (i.e., job loss). In addition to this issue being problematic for those living with these illnesses individually, it can also be dangerous when a person is misdiagnosed as having one condition versus another; taking medication meant for another condition could have deleterious effects on their health.

4. Individuals With BPD Don’t Act Like “This” Just Because They Choose To.

It is easy to think that someone with BPD is choosing to be difficult or hurtful, but in fact they are not making a conscious decision. They are not choosing to be so emotional or impulsive or self-destructive or afraid of abandonment (and I could go on). These things happen because these individuals have an illness; it is not their fault that they feel the way they do, and they cannot control their feelings and behavior as much as you would like them too.

5. “I Know My Emotions Are More Intense Than Other People’s, But That Doesn’t Make Them Less Real.”

There is a common misconception that when you have BPD, your emotions are bigger and more intense than those of others. As such, it can be difficult for people to understand why you would feel as if your feelings matter less because they’re not as strong or intense as those of non-BPD sufferers.

However, while this may be true in certain situations (such as in an argument), it doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to feel hurt or upset by something someone else said or did to you; and it definitely shouldn’t mean that your pain isn’t valid or worth being validated by others.

things people with bps want you to know
6. You Can Validate My Feelings Without Agreeing With Me Or Making Excuses For Me.

People with BPD are sensitive to a lot of things. They can be sensitive to criticism and judgment because they feel like all of those things are coming from a place of wanting to help us, even if that’s not the case. You can validate their feelings without agreeing with them or making excuses for them.

If you say something like: “I’m sorry that happened,” or “That sounds really hard,” it will mean the world to them! It sounds simple, but it goes a long way for them when people are able to acknowledge how bad they feel about something without being defensive about it.

7. BPD Treatment Works — You Just Need To Find The Right Kind For You!

  • Treatment for BPD is effective. In fact, it’s one of the most effective forms of treatment out there. It just works differently for everyone.
  • You need to find the right kind of treatment for you and your needs. That’s why it’s important to talk about what you want and need with your therapist if you are thinking about getting help: so they can help match those needs with appropriate treatments (inpatient care, outpatient care).

8. Some People With BPD Have Trouble Seeing The Gray Areas In Situations, Some Don’t

  • It is a learned skill.
  • You can get better at it over time, but it takes practice.
  • Some people with BPD don’t even see the gray areas in situations! But I know individuals who do (and they’re doing just fine).

People With Borderline Personality Disorder Struggle With Intense Emotions And Black-And-White Thinking.

People with borderline personality disorder struggle with intense emotions and black-and-white thinking. They have trouble regulating their emotions, which can cause them to react in ways that seem irrational or unpredictable. Because of this, people with BPD often feel misunderstood—but here’s the good news: You can get better at understanding what it means to live with this mental illness if you learn more about it!

Our Journey Does Not End Here. We Look Forward To Welcoming You To The Next Step Of Your Journey.

It’s important to remember that people with BPD don’t act out of spite or because they want attention. They don’t choose to have these feelings, but they do exist nonetheless. They are not bad people who deserve punishment; they simply need help in managing their symptoms.

4 thoughts on “8 Things People With BPD Wish You Knew”

  1. Having lived with BPD, the only thing that it is on the border of is intense, uncontrollable and unwanted change in moods, feelings, relationships and every day life.  Being told ‘you are unemployable’ is not good for anyone’s self esteem.  Being told this and other repeated negative comments and break you down.  However, as one ages and matures, you may be able to better monitor your outward behaviour even though the inner behaviour seems relentless.  It is good to get some understanding from people who validate without agreeing.

    1. I hope you’re managing and feeling much better. Thank you for providing your point of view from someone who has actually dealt with borderline personality disorder. 

  2. Hi Stephanie

    I used to think BPD and Bipolar Disorder are the same because of the names we use. But after reading the article I understood different disorders clearly with the analogy you used here.

    Discussing the issues openly with the therapist can get the right kind of help. Getting help from people is really necessary to overcome these disorders. 

    Sujith 🙂

    1. Hello Sujith!

      Thank you for taking the time to read this post and educate yourself on the difference and meaning of both conditions. I, myself, used to think the same thing until I started researching. 

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