An unfinished tale is a poem written from a collection of damaged memories that are still haunting me to this day.
All Rights Reserved
boxing out the pain usually means that you’ve put it behind you
under you
not around you
for as long as i’ve tried i could never unsee the view
a kaleidoscope of traumatic memories only reappearing when i don’t even have a clue of what brought them to the surface
i am so tired of feeling worthless
feeling like everything i do could have been done better by you
you, an unknown stranger to my present piloting an uncertain plan to dig deeper under my past
it doesn’t matter how much you claim to know me; you’re just another one waiting in the line
at times i thought i was fine
or maybe i just had too much wine
your words keep echoing inside my mind and there’s nothing i can do to calm down the demons inside
they come out as huge wind-cold storms; never announcing the day, but always making me question my war zones
zones that i have battled throughout my darkest days
those that taught me that it’s not easy to stay, but yet, still i do
were there any cues that i didn’t see?
maybe if i rearrange my life as you see it through your eyes then maybe just maybe i could find the peace in me
always trying to be what you wanted me to be
i lost myself trying to find the version of me that you were trying to sabotage and sell me with
never once I thought about self-improvement
i thought the only way was through validation from outsiders
people who don’t know me but I still give the power to judge me
it’s not a matter of whose better and whose not
it’s the endless lifetime memories that are now lost
between my past, my present, and my future, i trust none
one made me someone i don’t want to remember
the other one is creeping in every second with false ideas of what life would be perceived as if only i live how others want me to be
while the other one is still an unsettling puzzle of impulsive anxiety withdrawals that can sometimes be deep
my whole life i have always been in denial
denial of my mistakes
my reality
my faith
my life decisions along with my build up anger
always living in hallow shadows and broken signs of danger
mistakes were done and now i can’t go back
i buried those demons underneath a side crack
twenty-four years of uncontrollable sorrows
disappeared in bar locks of trips that i never made
somehow my past self reminded me to bring back old suitcases of forgotten prose, temporary blank spaces, and on my journey through life, i’ve got my fair share of non-prescribed doses of uncertain sky-high regrets that i could never take back
scars underneath my skin ran across the sidewalks
pain that always ended up in unspoken monologues
those words crawl around your judgments and dispair
thinking i’m still the same sixteen-year-old girl
you open up old wounds that you have previously poured pure gasoline just to see me begging for the fire
an untouchable match that only you have the leverage of burning it on
take me back to those november nights when the only thing on my mind was waking up and seeing her by my side
it was the best month of my life until that midnight december cry when they told me that she died
my world was crumbled into unknown and painful pieces
needless to say, that was the last time i saw my dreams become a reality
no more endless nights of happy dreaming
now my days have turned into unsolved crimes of heartless bleeding
there’s not a single day when her face won’t come around filling out my headspace
between the suffering and the adapting, it feels like i could never fill that place
please, just fill that space
i wasn’t wrong
i try to be strong so she can be proud of me and my will to live
but my will to thrive is not as sharp as it was when she was alive
time doesn’t heal everything
it doesn’t heal anything
it just leaves you wondering when will it all end
when would you start feeling alive again
where do you go when you’re tired of your own company?
how do you die without having to go through the actual torment of taking my last breath?
looking at my life from an outsiders point of view i can see what i’m too afraid to admit
no matter how much time goes by this thought will always be one i’m too scared to commit
too afraid to miss out on all the opportunities life had waiting for me
i’m still yet to see one of them but, what’ll i miss when i leave?
an unfinished tale from an unknown girl who is still too broken to be able to grief her lost life that she never had a chance to live
>>>> Read More
This is one very clever poem of hope and it’s truly beautiful because there is so much that the poetic personal is facing but chooses to have faith oft better thing to come even with the current condition that they face. I still haven’t been able to understand it hundred percent but there is so much that I have learned a lot from while reading
It’s a poem based on different perspective and different aspects of a person’s life. It can be either about love, loss, tragedy, etc. It all depends on how you’re reading it and what mindset you’re trying to associate it with. Thank you for taking the time to read this poem, it means a lot.
What a sad poem. I’m sorry for the people you’ve lost and the people who made you feel worthless. I can relate to many of these emotions after my spouse died. It felt (and sometimes still does) like I have no place in this world anymore. You must fight that, you must find purpose and a reason to enjoy life again. I wish you all the best.
I am so sorry about your loss. Grief is such a difficult concept to completely process without feeling doubtful or angry. No one deserves to feel such pain in their life and I really hope you find happiness once again. You deserve everything that’s positive from this world and I hope life can help you settle down and have a more steady and at-ease mindset. All the best, always.