There’s so many things that lingers inside a writer’s mind. One of my main issues is trying to convince myself that my critical thinking doesn’t need to be influenced by other people or their mindsets. So, how does that work? How can you separate your thoughts from the reality that you’re living? In my mind, I just want to change the world and how it works when it comes to integrity.
For all of you who are wondering, this is not an informative article. This is a look inside my mind.
I’m sure a lot of you are asking yourselves “what does integrity have to do with anything?”. Well, this is simple, as I said before, this is a look inside my mind, so everything I say will be solely on how my mind works.
Integrity is such a strong and complex thing for a lot of people. Everyone has different perceptions of it. Integrity can be divided into different components, but it always ends with the same target; honesty, values and what’s right. This word is used in a lot of companies and businesses to establish a pattern of trust towards the public, but if we take a closer look at what they’re really trying to promote, does integrity even fit there?
That’s exactly how the human mind works. Do your actions reflect what’s happening inside your mind?
As you grow up, you start learning how to create your own opinions and you start building your own mindsets as well, without having anyone else decide what you should believe in or what you should be doing. It’s a scary feeling when you’re so used to having other people (caregivers, parents, family, etc) tell you how to make your own decisions, and when you start doing that on your own you simply just feel empowered by the truth; your truth.
Did I Make The Right Decision?
Everything is based on decisions. From the very first thing when you open your eyes in the morning to the last few seconds before you fall back asleep. Living with anxiety can trigger all of these decisions, making it fairly impossible to differ what you really want to do or what you think people around you would want you to do. It starts becoming an obstacle once you decide to give up on your decisions just to let someone else run them for you.
I grew up in a really toxic environment where I wasn’t allowed to make decisions on my own, much less have my own opinions. Taking action in something that I believed in wasn’t an option, so as I got older, everything started to become more and more difficult for me. I’m still learning how to manage my own instincts and not let my decisions be associated with what other people want. The only thing I can be sure of are my morals, those can’t change. Those are the things that defy who I am and who I desire to be.
Fantasy Vs Reality
Fantasy – what keeps us hoping and dreaming; the magnet between what’s real and what’s not
Reality – the end of your dreams
Sounds a little controversial, doesn’t it? Those are not real definitions, that is only how my mind works.
You see, being through trauma changes you and your only source of escape is getting lost in your own fantasy world, because there you don’t have to deal with the aftermath’s of reality, and sometimes that’s all you want in your life, to cope with what you’re going through at the moment.
It may not make sense to you, but I’m sure a lot of people could relate as well, and if that’s the case, just know that you’re not alone. Your feelings and emotions are completely valid.
There’s Always A Reason…
As you see, there’s a lot that goes by in someone’s brain, and we only have a chance to see what the other person wants you to see. Never push or manipulate someone into opening up, that’s not how it works. You need to build trust. Everyone deals with their mental health in their own way and it’s completely valid whatever it is that you use to cope with your surroundings, whether is fantasy, writing or even bottling it up just because you’re afraid of what the people around you might think, just know that you matter.
Life is not easy and it only gets more complicated as you go by, piecing everything up trying to make sense out of it, but you know, life can also be beautiful in some kind of way. Of course, we might be going through a lot of negatives in our lives and it may seem like it doesn’t get better; but it does. And no, I’m not talking about improving your mental health from a 0 to a 100 because it doesn’t work that way, but instead, we can find little things that can make us smile and make us go like “you know what? life isn’t that bad after all” once you find that thing, please hold on to it and don’t let go. That one thing can save you throughout your journey.
What can that thing be?
• TV show
• The future
• Past lessons
There are so many things that can bring you peace of mind, even if it’s just for a few seconds. In the end, those few seconds are the ones that make you not want to give up.