How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

If you’ve been hurt by someone, forgiveness can be one of the most difficult things to do. You may find yourself getting stuck in anger, resentment and bitterness. This is normal and it’s okay! The important thing is that you know that forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation with the person who caused you pain; it just means letting go of those feelings of anger and resentment so they don’t hinder your life. So, how do we forgive someone who has hurt you?

how to forgive someone who hurt you

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You?

Forgiveness is never easy, but it is necessary. To be able to forgive, you need to let go of the past. You need to let go of all those negative thoughts and feelings that you have been holding onto for so long. If they have hurt you, they are not going to disappear just because you want them too. It’s important to know that just because you forgive, it doesn’t mean that any source of negative emotions will be gone.

Understand Why You Need To Forgive

“Forgiveness is a choice,” says Melissa Ambrosini, executive coach and founder of The Unmistakable Creative. “I encourage people to ask themselves what they want. Do you want to forgive someone because you feel like it’s the right thing to do? Or do you want to forgive them because forgiving them will help move your life forward?”

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It might be helpful for you to think about how forgiveness can help heal the hurt caused by this person—and ultimately, yourself. Consider that forgiveness isn’t just about the other person: It’s also about how forgiving yourself will help you manage some of those negative emotions that are holding back your life.

Consider What Forgiveness Means To You

Forgiveness is a process. It’s not an event that happens in one moment, but rather it’s something you do over time. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation or forgetting, and it doesn’t mean trusting the person who hurt you again. You can forgive someone without ever seeing them again or talking to them again—and that might be the best way forward for your own healing and growth.

Know the stages of forgiveness

how to forgive
Forgiveness is a work in progress. You may go through different phases of forgiveness, from feeling angry to accepting the person who hurt you. For example, if someone has betrayed your trust by lying or stealing from you, then it may take some time to overcome these feelings of anger and betrayal.

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Reconciliation

Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. You can forgive someone, while they still have a lot to do to earn your trust. Reconciliation is a choice that you make and it depends on the other person. Forgiveness can happen immediately or years later, but reconciliation usually takes time and work on both sides. For example: if someone has hurt you in any way, it’s up to you if you want to reconcile with them and move forward from there. It’s possible for people who have been very close friends or partners in life (not just romantic) to turn their backs on each other without ever speaking again due to misunderstandings or arguments that arose between them during times in which they were together (like when one person wanted something different from what another did).

⇨ Related: Ways To Improve Ypur Life

Make A List Of What Is Preventing You From Forgiving

Once you’ve taken some time to think about what is preventing you from forgiving, it’s time to write down the answers. If possible, write your thoughts in a way that can be shared with others. It could be helpful to have someone read over your list and provide feedback or suggestions on how they might help. You may also want to use an app or notebook where there is space that’ll make you feel comfortable when writing down ideas as they occur.

Talk About It With A Therapist

  • Talk about it with a therapist, a support group or someone you trust.
  • Find someone who you can trust and who will be nonjudgmental, someone who will listen to how you feel and help you to understand the situation. The more information they have, the better equipped they’ll be to give advice on how best to forgive someone. If there’s no one in your life that fits this description, consider talking about it with a friend or family member who has been through a similar experience and has already dealt with this.
  • Setting an intention to forgive is the first step toward forgiving someone who has hurt you. It helps keep you motivated and focused on the task at hand.

To set an intention, think about what the person did that hurt you and how you will feel when it’s time to forgive them:

  • Forgiving someone means letting go of your anger and resentment toward them, so thinking about how good it’ll feel when those feelings are gone can help motivate yourself as well as provide motivation for keeping on track with your plan.
  • If there are any negative emotions involved in forgiving someone else (like fear or guilt), then consider jotting down some notes about what these might be and how they’re connected to your self-image or identity. You may realize that some of these feelings aren’t truly yours; perhaps they came from another person or circumstance.

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

Remind Yourself Of The Reasons You Are Forgiving Them For

Forgiveness is not about condoning the behavior of the person who hurt you. Forgiving someone does not mean that you approve or agree with what they have done; it simply means that you release yourself from any feelings of anger and resentment towards them.

It’s important to remember that forgiveness is a process—not a one-time event. You may feel like you’re ready to forgive your abuser right after they apologize, but if there are still negative emotions lingering between the two of you, it could take longer than expected until those feelings fade away completely. Take time each day to remind yourself why it’s so important for both parties involved in this situation to move past their pain without letting it define either individual as whole human beings anymore

Forgiveness is not only helpful for your own mental health, but also for your relationship with the person who harmed you if you decide to reconcile with them.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool in your happiness arsenal. It can help you heal from past and present wounds, relieve stress and anxiety, improve your physical health, strengthen relationships with others (including those who have hurt you), and make you feel more compassionate toward yourself and others.

Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation, however. While forgiveness may lead to positive relationship changes—and even repair damaged ones—it does not require that you reconcile with someone who has hurt or wronged you. Forgiveness means letting go of resentment toward another person or group of people; it doesn’t necessarily mean making amends or restoring trust. You can forgive someone without ever having contact with them again: Sometimes this is necessary due to safety reasons; other times it simply isn’t feasible given the circumstances of your life at present time (such as being unable to afford travel costs).


Remember that forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Whether or not you choose to continue a relationship with the person who has hurt you will be up to you, but if this is something that interests you, we encourage you to seek professional help from a therapist or support group. Remember that regardless of what happens in your life, it is important for YOU and YOUR mental health!

2 thoughts on “How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You”

  1. Someone once said that when you do not forgive those who hurt you, it’s like living in a prison — the prison of unforgiveness. And oftentimes, the person who has hurt us doesn’t even know that we have been keeping all the anger and resentment inside of us. 

    It’s true; to forgive those who caused us pain isn’t that easy. It takes time for the pain to subside and then that’s the only time we can consider forgiving the person who offended us. But how do we forgive someone who hurt us especially if that person is someone close to us? 

    For me personally, forgiveness is setting ourselves free from pain and bitterness. I agree; when we forgive, it does not mean we have to reconcile with our offender. It just means we are choosing to let go and move on. 

    It does not mean also that when we forgive, we will forget. I don’t think this is even possible, especially when we often see the person who hurt us because we are in the same circle. Perhaps we have common friends or we live in the same community. In that case, should we move to another state or city or stop seeing our common friends just so we don’t have to see that person again?

    What do you think? 

    1. I completely agree with you, Alice. It’s hard to let someone break free from our end when we know what they’ve done. Forgiveness comes in so many ways and I find that, for myself, setting boundaries is a powerful thing when forgiving something for their wrongdoings and the pain they’ve caused. 

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