A lot of people may be experiencing this right now, and they might not even know it. You see, once you’re used to something, even if it’s bad, you feel like that’s how things are supposed to be.
Toxicity comes in many ways and in unexpected situations. You may not even see it as toxic because, well, you love that person.
Love doesn’t involve getting hurt in the process of trusting.
What Can A Toxic Environment Be Defined As?
I’m not going to get into sophisticated definitions. I’m just going to tell you what toxic behavior is.
• You don’t feel safe
• Everything you do is bad for the other person
• They’re controlling your decisions, what you wear and who do you talk to
• They get mad at you for expressing how you feel because your feelings are not valid for them
• You can’t do anything without asking for permission, or getting approval
The list goes on. Toxic behaviors do not only include a partner. It can also be regarding friends, family, coworkers and even strangers.
We never really know what we’re getting ourselves into, and if you’ve been around this type of behavior, you will probably see it as something normal.
Can It Escalate?
Sometimes there’s not really a way to escape a certain situation. That may be because you’re a minor, you’re scared or because you feel like if you leave, then you will end up missing the toxic person.
Toxic behavior doesn’t necessarily lead to physical abuse, but keep in mind that it can.
You should make a mental note of all the things that are worrying you right now about the situation. Create some boundaries between what you’re feeling, and the actions that you’re receiving. What does this mean? Have a clear vision of what you know it’s good for you, and what you deserve. Never settle for less. Please also keep in mind that no one can take your rights away. Those are yours.
That’s Not How Things Are Supposed To Be
No one deserves to be treated in an inhumane and abusive way, even if the other person is just “joking”. Once you start feeling like your feelings and opinions don’t matter, maybe you should consider cutting out that person from your life.
I am almost certain that we have or have had a relationship with some very toxic people in our lives.
We may even have some sort of sympathy for them because we think that we understand why they have such toxic behaviors. Having empathy for someone does not mean that you can’t speak out for their wrong doings. In fact, if we let these people continue with their toxic behaviors they may feel like they’re being validated and that what they’re doing it’s okay.
Do We Attract These People?
I have been dealing with toxic people for so long. This year I found myself, yet again, in a toxic environment regarding a friend. She seemed nice and lovely at first, but then things started to change.
If you’ve been in this situation, I’m sure you’d know that people like this love being the center of attention. Everything is about them. They don’t even ask how your day is going. You can give them all of your time, you try to help them with a certain situation in their lives and they will just keep victimizing themselves wanting to make you feel more sorry for them.
What happens when you’re the one in need for someone to hear you?
Try bringing up something from your personal life to them, and see how quickly they change the topic or tell you that they’re not up to talk about that at the moment.
You will bring it back again some other day and they will, yet again, start making it all about them and how you’re the one who doesn’t understand what they’re going through.
That is indeed toxic behavior
Now, do we attract these type of people? I can’t certainly say. But, I can say that maybe we’re so used to these type of actions that we end up looking for people with the same characteristics.
Take a look around you and you will notice that most people have toxic traits. We do as well. The key here is to know when you’re having a toxic attitude towards someone and if so, you should work towards fixing it. Work on yourself to become a better and more trustworthy person.
Of course, some people have way more toxic traits than others and if that’s the case you’re in, please step back from that person. We’re already dealing with so much, and yet we carry other people’s baggage, when they can’t even show you that they care about you. It’s not worth damaging your mental health for people who only care about themselves.
I know it can be hard dealing with these types of things and sometimes we don’t have anyone to turn to. Therapy is too expensive, you don’t have insurance, you have social anxiety or whatever other reason. Please know that there are other options out there that you can try. There are people who are willing to help you without it having to be so expensive. If you’re interested, I will leave you this article right here so you can make your own concrete decision and decide what works for you.
If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.