by Stephanie | 7:51 pm

A new year…of what?

At this point, I’m guessing I’m just way too over this life. I have been for the last few years, so any type of holiday seems like a huge amount of wasted time for me. I can’t be the only one who’s currently feeling like that, or that has felt like that at all.

The holidays are not for everyone, and that is completely okay.

New Year…New Me

How many times have we heard that phrase before? Every time I log in on Facebook, half of my timeline there, has that phrase placed everywhere. I never understood the meaning of it.

a new year of whatMaybe I overthink too much, or maybe my rational thinking just doesn’t make sense at times, but I don’t see the overstatement everyone gives the New Year, as if it was something magical, something to remember for the rest of their lives. Just like in Christmas, people will spend a ridiculous amount of money on clothes, shoes, makeup and accessories, just to spend the whole entire night in their living room waiting for the clock to hit midnight. We humans sure know how to make the most out of the simplest things.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know there are people out there that feel like this moment is something to be proud of, an accomplishment for others, and everything for those who get to see family members they haven’t seen in a while. After that, they eat some rice soup – at least that’s what they do where I’m from – they stay up late either playing domino’s or they spent days afterwards with the whole pyrotechnic obsession. Which by the way, I do think there should be a certain law that prevents people from using such things around people with PTSD, anxiety and animals. I know there are some places that have those laws. Sadly, mine isn’t one of them, and every time this type of season comes around, I need to make sure that my dogs are safe…and also, myself. I struggle with a few anxiety disorders, and believe me when I say I don’t like this time of year.

A New Year Of What?

I swear, I ask the same question over and over again each year. My head just can’t wrap the idea that people are so excited to see a new year coming.

For me, it’s just another normal day. Nothing changes except the numbers on the calendar. Of course, we’re ending a decade but what happens next?

New Years new mePeople make unrealistic goals for what they want to achieve in the upcoming year, but I mean, you could’ve done all that this year; what stopped you? I don’t think a new number that’s been added to the calendar is going to magically change your life, and make you do all the things that you actually were supposed to do this year…and the year before, but for some reason, this is the year that will change it all. I mean, that’s what some people say.

As December 31 goes along and we enter January 1, I still have the same health issues, the same problems, same money issues, same stress levels…same everything. I just need someone to tell me why is that time of year so special. Someone…just try to change my mind, if that even is possible.

Traditions

As I mentioned before, people love to spent hundreds of dollars just to sit on their living room, with their phones in hand while waiting for the clock to strike 12:00 AM. After that, it’s just a mess of people hugging each other – another reason why I don’t like this so-called holiday. I have social anxiety, so hugging and spending an immensely amount of time with other people, that’s just not me – I would rather stay at home alone than be around this type of awkwardness.

As I was growing up,  I didn’t really have a choice whether I wanted to go or if I wanted to stay. I was just forced to put some pretty clothes on and go. I remember my social anxiety always left me on the corner of a table, with my phone in hand, and just praying to god that no one would come close to me.

Social anxietyJust as Christmas, days like this are basically an excuse for family members to dig deeper into what’s happening in your life. Not because they care, but because they love the gossip behind your suffering. Well, I mean not suffering, but they do love hearing about the mess that your life has been over the past few months, and what happens after you spill them all the details? They go out and tell everyone…when I say everyone, I mean absolutely everyone. I remember once I was going through a rough situation that only one of my family members knew, and guess what? I went to the pharmacy to get my prescription medication and the pharmacist asked me how that certain situation was going.

That made me feel so angry. Throughout the years I’ve learned not to give out more information than what is needed. That has saved me a lot of anxiety and headaches.

New Traditions

Ever since I started my own life far from where my family is, I started having new traditions to add to my new living situation.

My secret? Not having any traditions at all.

As I said before, a new year of what? We are going to be dealing with the same problems, same health issues, same family drama, same money problems, same environmental crisis, same government ripping us up with low pay rates and little to no insurance…nothing really changes. You’re just doing the same thing over and over, for another year.

The only tradition I’ve had for the last four years, is to sit by myself in my room, plug in my earphones and watch my all time favorite show. That’s it. That’s the only constant in my life, while saying goodbye to yet, another year. That has actually been a tradition I’ve enjoyed for so long. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my favorite characters on screen and jumping into a new year with them. That probably doesn’t make sense, right? It doesn’t have to make sense to you, but for me, it means the absolute world.

a new year of what

Why Did I Write This

I am in no way saying that going into a new year it’s not going to bring you anything great, because we never know what the future holds for us. But I do believe that some people make so much out of the new year to actually see the results they want.

It gets too much, to the point that their expectations may not be what they were looking for, therefore, they end up being disappointed.

I always tell myself “don’t think of it as just a new year, but instead as an opportunity to keep healing and fighting for what you want; talking about mental health”

Make the year however you please and want it to be. Don’t depend on other people’s opinions on what you should do, or  what you shouldn’t do, because I’ve also seen some people telling others things like “oh maybe you need to lose some weight” so their New Years resolution is to be skinny. That’s not realistic. Do things because you want them to, not because someone else wants you to do them.

The more I think about it, the more I keep asking myself “a new year of what?”. At this point, I’m just looking forward to staying alive and surviving life.

How about you, what are you personally looking forward to? Is this just another year for you as well? I would love to hear from you in the comment section down below.

Comments

Benny

hello, i really want to first appreciate your effort in putting this great website together and writing this article. new year and new resolutions that is how it has always been for me. i set new goals and then new target. and it helps me focus on what i want to achieve. this is a nice topic. can i share this article?

Dec 28.2019 | 08:13 pm

    Stephanie

    Thank you very much and yes, of course you can! 

    Dec 29.2019 | 04:39 am

RazvanIlie

Thanks a lot for sharing with us such an amazing article about how we can change.

We should make changes not only when the new year begins. Although we often make changes without realizing it.

I have been searching for such an article for a long time. Thank you very much for these wonderful tips that all people should consider. Thanks a lot for the motivation offered, I really needed something like that.

Thanks again and I wish you all the best.If you don’t mind, I will share this article on my social media account. Good luck!

Dec 28.2019 | 08:15 pm

    Stephanie

    Thank you for taking the time to read it and for sharing it as well! 

    Dec 29.2019 | 04:40 am

Katja

‘’Do things because you want them to, not because someone else wants you to do them’’. I couldn’t agree more with you! We as a society are aimlessly running life’s ticking different boxes depending on the time of the year. But never truly making the time to stop, reflect, and ask ourselves what we actually want.

I think change happens when we truly decide to do so, out of our true reason, and not because there is a new year. After all, it’s just the number that changes…

Dec 28.2019 | 08:18 pm

    Stephanie

    And that my friend, is called growth. 

    Dec 29.2019 | 04:41 am

Dave

This is a very interesting viewpoint on mental health and new year and new beginnings.

I absolutely agree with you that society expects people to make a massive issue out of seeing the current year out and then seeing the following year in and then I hear many people hate January because of detoxing and recovering from December.

Personally, I love January, thats because I see it as the start of a new year, and fresh opportunities to go grab life by the balls and achieve goals that I might not have considered previously.

I especially liked your last paragraph>>>>> ” The more I think about it, the more I keep asking myself “a new year of what?”. At this point, I’m just looking forward to staying alive and surviving life.”<<<<

Don’t just survive it, create a Legacy!

Dec 28.2019 | 08:20 pm

    Stephanie

    Thank you for your kind words, Dave. 

    Dec 29.2019 | 04:43 am

asmadi

Hi Stephanie! A New Year … Then What? Haha .. Thank you for this amazing and emotional post before. I totally agree with what you wrote. I also agree with what’s the difference between a new year and a normal day? If it’s just a celebration by eating together, I can do that whenever I want, not only at new year.

New Hope? New Me? New Resolution?
Come on Forget it all! All is no different from bullshit. How often (am I?) You? We? can achieve the resolution we made? All that just became a target that did not burden my life. We just want to be happy. Thats all!

I personally never thought of making a target / resolution in the new year. I just go through the day trying to be happy. I feel happy if I can only lie on the mattress with my gadget, with a glass of 100% pure apple juice and when hungry, I can order a pizza with a lot of toppings and cheese on the edges. That’s all I’m very happy.

But there is one thing I’m curious about you. If you don’t mind, may you share about “looking forward staying alive?” In fact, in the end all humans who today live will die … just my thought ..

Dec 28.2019 | 08:22 pm

    Stephanie

    And that sounds like it’s a tradition for you. I’m so glad you are at that point in your life where you only care about YOU. 

    Yes, all humans die at some point in their lives. What I meant by that, I struggle a lot with my mental health and I have thought about giving up so many times, but I had never had the courage. I just want to live while I can. 

    Dec 29.2019 | 04:48 am

Twack Romero

Powerful article and not one to be ignored for many, I’m sure. For all those who embrace the holiday season there are those who dread it, not least for many of the reasons you state. This year I started my ‘resolutions’ on December the 1st, mainly becasue I didn’t want the pressure to conform when the new year came round.

I did make some in roads into clearing up a load of loose ends before the new year starts. That way I can hit it with a month already under my belt. I’ve got no illusions which is why I’m starting small with no targets in sight. ‘One a day’ of anything is better than none a day. Take small steps and build up and look to no one for validation.

I feel for those who get swept up in this time of year and end up emotionally drained and distraught. Many also end up with a credit card bill that they’ll be paying for the next twelve months and then they’ll do it all again. No one sees the wreckage left behind.

Dec 28.2019 | 09:28 pm

    Stephanie

    Couldn’t agree with you more. Capitalism controls us in every single way. We can have goals, but again, due to capitalism, things can get a little out of hand qnd we lost perspective of what we actually wanted. 

    Dec 29.2019 | 04:51 am

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